Tag Archives: coaching conversations

On Self Deception, Congruence and Integrity

We are all masters in the art of self-deception. Congruence is something I seek in the people I meet and work with, and when it’s lacking, it disturbs me. I’ve been having discussions about this with colleagues over on LinkedIn, and want to share some valuable insights with you. For example, I have a colleague who [...]
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Congruence: How Is It Important in Life and Business?

How would you define congruence? How is it important in life and in business? A mouse click over to Wikipedia tells us this about congruency: In Carl Rogers personality theory, the compliance between ideal self and actual self. See Incongruence. In psychology and NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), congruence could be defined as rapport within oneself, or internal and [...]
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Leading Gen Y: 3 Lessons for a Meaningful Career

As a leader, what three suggestions would you give to Gen Y people about living a truly meaningful life? Beyond making a living, what would you tell someone are the keys to creating a worthwhile career? I think it starts with answering the same question for yourself. What do you need to be doing to create [...]
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Feedback: Why Is Expressing Appreciation Hard?

Why is it that praising or expressing appreciation to people at work can be so awkward? Sometimes it can feel contrived, even disingenuous. Maybe we’re just not as good at expressing positive thoughts as we are negativity. Are we so entrenched in sarcasm and dark humor that the expression of authentic appreciation seems odd? Tony [...]
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What Books or Blogs Influence Your Personal Leadership?

What books, blogs, speeches or newsletters made a significant impact on you and your personal leadership goals in 2011? How will they impact your goals for 2012? For me, books provide a continual guide to growing my personal leadership. I asked this question over on LinkedIn Answers and got some great suggestions for books and blogs. [...]
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Self-Confidence: Everyone’s Secret Flaw

If you’ve ever worked with an executive coach, then you know what I’m talking about. In private coaching sessions, one of the biggest issues that comes up with clients, even for the smartest and most accomplished ones I work with, is lack of self-confidence. Just about everyone harbors self-doubt, even those who appear least likely. Having [...]
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What… or Who…Would You Change in 2012?

I asked this question over on LinkedIn, “In your work, what’s one big thing you’d like to change in 2012?” I was expecting people to respond with their goals and plans for the coming year. I was a little shocked … most of the responses were from people who wanted to change their clients, their [...]
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Resolutions: Self-Deception, Delusions, and Denial

We can be very clever human beings. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, we are very good at self-deception, delusions, and outright denial. We are experts at excuse-making! What happens when we come face to face with our own inconsistencies? It happens when broken New Year’s resolutions become far too apparent to ignore. Or, it hits [...]
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Leadership Challenge: Be a Better Listener

A big leadership challenge is how to become a better listener. I hear this from my coaching clients: many of them are aware they don’t listen well. This may be because most top executives are highly goal-oriented and have a winner’s attitude. While that’s good for most things in life, it gets in the way [...]
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New Year’s Resolutions: A Hard Look at
Competing Commitments

One of my favorite books over the Holidays was Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization, by Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey. Last week I mentioned it in regards to New Year’s Resolutions. The authors make a very clear case for a hard look at [...]
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