Category Archives: relationships

People-Pleasing Leaders:
The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

Sometimes I hear colleagues complain that their boss is too nice. They work for a people-pleasing leader. Working for someone who always wants to be liked is frustrating. People-pleasing leaders tend to waffle, try to please everyone, and don’t make decisions easily for fear of disappointing someone. That’s a breeding ground for mistrust. Even though […]
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The Risks of Working for a People Pleaser

Working for someone who is a people-pleaser may seem fairly innocuous or even desirable, but such leaders pose daunting challenges for their organizations. If you work for a people-pleaser, you most likely see the inherent problems and confess to seeking ways to maneuver around them. People-pleasing leaders have some beneficial traits, but their behaviors can […]
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Authentic Leaders Earn Respect

I’ve been exploring what it takes for leaders to develop into more authentic leaders. Being respected begins with showing respect to others, both upline and downline in your organization. Model respect for everyone and it will be contagious. The phrase “leading by example” is more than a suggestion. Leaders who model the behavior they want […]
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The Inner Game of Leading Others

I’ve been thinking a lot about how leaders change themselves to become more influential and effective. My last post talked about The Inner Game of Golf, a book by Timothy Gallwey. Gallwey introduced us to thinking about our inner vs. outer worlds. Whether applied to sports or to work, the inner game is where we […]
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Self-Management: Bringing the Whole Person to Work

I’ve been reading about self-managing companies who operate without a hierarchical pyramid. Frederic Laloux believes we can reinvent work for the future with a self-organizing organizational model. In Reinventing Organizations: A Guide to Creating Organizations Inspired by the Next Stage of Human Consciousness (Nelson Parker, 2014), Laloux calls this stage Evolutionary-Teal. Now, in the work I […]
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How to Use Social Signals in Conversations

I’ve been intrigued by new research about how we communicate and send social signals during conversations. New technology — the sociometer that measures our natural behaviors in the workplace — is revealing how people interact and work together. But for now, most of us don’t wear devices and don’t have the ability to dissect subtle message […]
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The New Science of Measuring
Team Effectiveness

How do we know that social sensitivity outweighs all other factors in team effectiveness? Scientists are using new technology to measure the degree of social interaction in organizations. Professor Alex Pentland’s Human Dynamic Lab at MIT invented a sociometric badge, worn on people’s clothing. It has the technology to measure the tone of voice a […]
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Good Apologies Restore Trust

Because no workplace is perfect, most of us need to learn how to make good apologies. Managers berate subordinates in meetings. Colleagues make snide remarks about each other. Even worse, people send emails, texts, or tweets without thinking. Making an apology is key, but it has to be done well or it can backfire and […]
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How to Apologize at Work: Don’t Justify

Mistakes happen all the time. But when we screw up, it’s often hard to apologize at work effectively. It’s even worse when executives have to make public apologies for corporate mistakes. There’s a great article about this by Ron Ashkenas on the Harvard Business Review site January, 2015, “When a Public Mistake Requires an Old-Fashioned […]
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