The secret of rulership is to combine a belief in one’s own infallibility with the power to learn from past mistakes. ~ George Orwell
As much as we’d like to believe that we’re rational human beings, we can all too easily mislead ourselves. Self-deception is a process that encourages us to justify our false and invalid beliefs. (Image: Freedigitalphotos.net)
I’ve been talking about how we make snap judgments about people based on first impressions. Which led me to think about how easy it is to find fault with others, while excusing our own similar behaviors. In fact, we do this so rapidly and consistently, we often don’t notice. It’s one of the most documented of human cognitive biases.
Individuals, organizations and communities experience self-deception — the root of most problems, according to the Arbinger Institute, a Utah-based consulting firm. It’s human nature to blame others, externalize causes and deny our role in organizational struggles. This tendency is so pervasive that few of us escape its reach, and self-deception intrudes into every aspect of our lives. Nowhere is it more destructive than at the top of the leadership food chain.
As someone responsible for influencing others, consider this: Self-deception blinds you to the true source of most conflicts. Once you’re caught in its trap, all of the “solutions” you propose will likely make matters worse. You’ll find that your self-deception:
- Obscures the truth about yourself
- Corrupts your view of others and your circumstances
- Destroys your credibility and the trust others have in you
- Inhibits your ability to persuade others
- Thwarts wise decision-making
The extent of your self-deception determines how much your happiness and leadership efforts will be undermined. Without some form of intervention, your performance will suffer, and your subordinates will remain unengaged.
I see this problem frequently with the clients I work with. Like goldfish swimming in a bowl, oblivious to the fact they’re in water, it’s hard to know what others can plainly see.
Fortunately, recognizing this leadership trap can inoculate you against its consequences. If, however, you believe that guarding yourself against wishful thinking will prevent self-deception, you may be in for a bumpy ride. Ongoing vigilance is required to preserve immunity, note Arbinger’s experts in Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box. Awareness will:
- Sharpen your vision
- Reduce feelings of conflict
- Enliven the desire for teamwork
- Redouble accountability
- Enhance your ability to achieve results
- Boost job satisfaction and overall happiness
You can then leverage your leadership strengths, view yourself and others more positively, and resolve resistant personal and professional relationship problems.
It’s important to examine self-deception at all levels to improve teamwork, reduce conflict, boost engagement, and achieve remarkable results. But the self-discovery steps toward enlightenment are difficult without a trusted mentor or executive coach to guide you. If you have questions about this, give me a call 706-827-4407.
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2 Comments
Excellent, Chip.
The timing (3 minutes ago) of me seeing a link to your article on LinkedIn couldn’t have been more perfect. Literally 15 minutes ago I finished reading (listening to, actually) the Arbinger Institute’s book Leadership and Self-Deception.
I’ve read and/or listened to this book 5 times over the years. I need the frequent reminder.
Once we wake up to the degree that self-deception controls our lives and damages the lives of those we care about, we can’t help but be both horrified and motivated to grow further out of the self-betrayal trap. It’s a lifelong pursuit – and a worthwhile one.
I’ve utilized the truths from this research with many clients. So far, none has said “no, I don’t think this applies to me.”
If one ever did, however, I believe they would be further proving it!
The more we think we are out of the box, the more we fall into it…and that is the conundrum, isn’t it? It is so nice to hear from you, JB! It has been a long time. Nice to see that you made it!