Monthly Archives: January 2010

How to Calm Down in 2 Minutes…

You probably already know how to handle a tense situation intelligently. You wouldn’t be in your position today if you didn’t. At least subconsciously, inside your brain, you’re already experienced in going from attack mode to emotional mode to smart mode. Every difficult conversation involves all three of these parts: your snake brain, your rabbit […]
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It's Tough Talking…

Every difficult conversation involves grappling with these three components: Facts Feelings Identity & context Conversing successfully requires learning to manage all three simultaneously. When you consider each of these factors before having a difficult conversation, it’s a first step to better conversations. Here are five more steps to consider when engaging in difficult conversations: Decipher […]
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3 Types of Difficult Conversations

Fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project has produced some interesting information about what goes on during conflict. The book, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, is written by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen and Roger Fisher (Penguin Books, 2000). Given that we prepare ourselves extensively for almost everything including […]
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Sticks and Stones in the Workplace

Some conversations are so difficult that we do anything to avoid them. Then, when things have really built up, we finally have no choice but to confront the issue, and along with it, the colleague, our spouse, or the other person involved. “We need to talk,” usually precedes an argument rather than a conversation. Why […]
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