People-Pleasing Leaders:
The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

People-pleasingSometimes I hear colleagues complain that their boss is too nice. They work for a people-pleasing leader. Working for someone who always wants to be liked is frustrating. People-pleasing leaders tend to waffle, try to please everyone, and don’t make decisions easily for fear of disappointing someone. That’s a breeding ground for mistrust.

Even though people-pleasers view their world through this warped lens, some positive behaviors often emerge. People-pleasing leaders: Read More »

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The Risks of Working for a People Pleaser

People-pleaserWorking for someone who is a people-pleaser may seem fairly innocuous or even desirable, but such leaders pose daunting challenges for their organizations. If you work for a people-pleaser, you most likely see the inherent problems and confess to seeking ways to maneuver around them.

People-pleasing leaders have some beneficial traits, but their behaviors can threaten survival in today’s highly competitive and responsive business climate: indecisiveness, lack of direction, inability to retain adequate personnel, low accountability, and overall inefficiency. Read More »

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Build Self Awareness: Write Down Your Beliefs

Self-awarenessI’ve been writing about self awareness, how to listen to your inner monologue, and how to improve the quality of your connections to others through self-knowledge.

This next exercise builds on the previous exercise where you simply write down your inner monologue. It is a little harder because it requires you to pay attention to what you believe and write those assumptions down. During a week or more, write down about a dozen beliefs or interpretations gathered from your self-talk. Read More »

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How to Speed Up Self-Awareness:
Listen to Your Self-Talk

Se;f-awaremessIt’s not always easy to uncover our blind spots and gain real self-awareness. One way is to write down your self-talk, using the exact words you use. Do this several times over the course of a week, and you’ll uncover a lot about how you think and perceive the world.

This self-awareness exercise is more valuable when we reflect on the things we say during our inner dialogue.

  • What did you notice most?
  • Did you notice any trends?
  • How hard was it to be non-judgmental?

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Self-Awareness: Listen to Your Inner Monologue

Self-awarenessOne of the hallmarks of an effective leader is self-awareness. Being self-aware helps us understand others, to be sensitive to blind spots, and gain trust and respect. But it’s one of the hardest qualities to build. I ran across a book that has some helpful suggestions: Leadership Step by Step: Becoming the Person Others Follow, by Joshua Spodek (Amazon Digital Services, 2017).

Our inner monologue or self-talk runs nonstop, whether we pay attention to it or not. It is a valuable source of self-awareness and a key to knowing our blind spots. Some call it self-talk, mind chatter, or inner voice. It often tends to be negative and judgmental. Read More »

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How to Build and Expand Your Self-Awareness

Self-awarenessHow self-aware are you? Self awareness is one of the foundations of emotional intelligence and being able to lead others. I’ve been writing about the importance of knowing yourself well here.

The key to building better self awareness is feedback. Have you asked others for feedback about yourself? Read More »

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Do You Have an Open Mind?

Open-mindDo you maintain an open mind? Is it possible to learn more about yourself even late in your career and life? Or, at some point, do we stop questioning and decide “that’s just the way we are?” I think these questions are important. In the work I do as a coach, I encounter both responses from people.

Eminent psychologist and human intelligence expert Howard Gardner (Extraordinary Minds, 1998) points out that exceptional people have a special talent for identifying their own strengths and weaknesses. They have open minds and are willing to take in feedback about their own deficiencies so they can improve themselves and their organizational performance. Read More »

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How Well Do You Know Yourself?

Know-yourselfHow well do you think you know yourself? Self-awareness is key to success in work, life, and relationships. I would say that it is the foundation of strong character, giving us the ability to lead with a sense of purpose, authenticity, openness, and trust.

Knowing yourself, and knowing the forces that affect the people who work for you, holds the key to being a successful leader.” ~ Kenneth M. Settel, MD, Clinical Instructor in Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, CEO Psychology: Who Rises, Who Falls and Why (RosettaBooks, 2012)

Many of us know our character strengths, and over time have worked to develop them. At the same time, not being cognizant of our weaknesses can blindside our success. Read More »

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Authentic Leaders Earn Trust

Authentic-leadersI’ve been exploring what it takes for leaders to become more authentic leaders. According to author Karissa Thacker in The Art of Authenticity (Wiley, 2016), becoming more authentic involves several key leadership mandates:

  1. Be self-aware
  2. Earn respect
  3. Connect with people
  4. Convey credibility
  5. Earn trust

You can earn trust by practicing these four attributes: self-awareness, respect, connecting, and credibility. There are other ways to enhance your trust quotient and demonstrate authenticity. Read More »

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How Do Authentic Leaders
Convey Credibility?

Authentic-leaersI’ve been exploring how authentic leaders build authenticity by addressing five areas: self-awareness, respect, connecting, credibility and trust.

How do authentic leaders come across as truly credible? For one thing, people don’t believe leaders who exhibit questionable behavior. If a leader shows flexible morality in one arena, they are not going to be perceived as 100% ethical in others. Being true, inwardly and outwardly, avoids this potential pitfall. Read More »

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